all i really wanted

"a few years back, as i was driving home from work, i had a silly thought that suddenly turned straight genius on me. i realized that all i really wanted was for my life to be beautiful. i wanted my home to be beautiful, i wanted my thoughts to be beautiful, i wanted my feelings to be beautiful. i wanted to create beauty in my life. if it was worth doing, i wanted it to be beautiful. life didn't seem beautiful at the time, but i wanted it to. it seemed silly and shallow, until suddenly it wasn't anymore. our god created for us an insanely beautiful world. why is that, i wondered? he created beauty around every corner. the earth, the animals, and music and art and science. all beautiful. and loving families, a passion for learning, and a sense that we can have an impact on what surrounds us--well, to me, that is beauty. and holy, for sure. so i stopped considering that desire shallow. i started to think of it as a way of honoring god, who is the one who created beauty to begin with, after all. "  -natalie holbrook