Peace within and infinite possibilities

“May today there be peace within.  May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.  May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.  May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.  May you be content knowing you are a child of God.  Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.  It is there for each and every one of us.” 

― Teresa of Ávila

Unattended children

I have saved a version of this picture for decades that Pinterest has never known. Lovely.

all i really wanted

"a few years back, as i was driving home from work, i had a silly thought that suddenly turned straight genius on me. i realized that all i really wanted was for my life to be beautiful. i wanted my home to be beautiful, i wanted my thoughts to be beautiful, i wanted my feelings to be beautiful. i wanted to create beauty in my life. if it was worth doing, i wanted it to be beautiful. life didn't seem beautiful at the time, but i wanted it to. it seemed silly and shallow, until suddenly it wasn't anymore. our god created for us an insanely beautiful world. why is that, i wondered? he created beauty around every corner. the earth, the animals, and music and art and science. all beautiful. and loving families, a passion for learning, and a sense that we can have an impact on what surrounds us--well, to me, that is beauty. and holy, for sure. so i stopped considering that desire shallow. i started to think of it as a way of honoring god, who is the one who created beauty to begin with, after all. "  -natalie holbrook

My family: A life less ordinary

We had family meetings, and listened to records, where I learned to love Sam Cooke, "Red, Red Wine," and "I danced with a dolly with a hole in her stockin' and her knees kept a'knockin' and her toes kept a'rockin...we danced by the light of the moon." We danced in the living room.

We had talks. Happy, sad, mad, and glad, we talked. (Except that time that Dad wouldn't get through the "Why Did Grandpa Have to Die?" book without crying. So I hid it. Sometimes, a girl's gotta take matters into her own pudgy hands.)

We had bedtime. After prayers and goodnights, we would sometimes sneak little lights on and blankets over our heads so that we could read until our eyes felt sandy.  I can also remember holding the blanket over my head like a babushka so that no one would remember that I had braids in my hair and ask me to take them out for more comfortable sleep. I just thought they were so beautiful.

"What will you do with your love?"

Sister Agnes Mary, SV asks this in a YouTube video on vocations.

Isn't it a beautiful question?

Hello. This is me.

I love those conversation games that people play when they're waiting for a bus, or riding a bus, or waiting for their table to be bussed. "Crowbar," or "Twenty Questions," or "Truth or Dare" (but leave out the dare because I just get nervous. The extended sleepover version of "Truth, Dare, Double Dare, Promise or Repeat" would just leave me with compounded ulcers). I love games where the only skills required are telling a) the truth, and b) stories about myself. I could tell and tell all the live-long day, and believe that behind me, the crowd is chanting "MVT! MVT*!"

When someone asks, "If you could meet anyone, dead or alive, who would you meet?" I always know just what I would like. If I could meet anyone, I would like to meet me. I would meet myself as an outsider (not Tala but hopefully someone kind, observant, and analytical), and size myself up. I would get that golden first impression, and people-watch myself with a great intensity, noting my quirks and graces, smiles, gestures and freckles that I've never been able to see. (I know. There are mirrors. Not the same!) I mean, what do I really look like when I sneeze? When I laugh? When I'm fuming in a passive aggressive manner at the people who insist on cutting ahead of me in concert ticket lines?

As much as I can tell my own stories into the ground, I don't really know what it's like to receive them, what it's like to receive me. (To type it like so lays that narcisissm out plain, with a blinking little cursor joining the "LOOKuphere! LOOKuphere!")

Still. I'm just saying.

Curious.



*Most Valuable Teller